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Heard at the office today: "I don't need anybody's meat, for sure"
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"The only meat I need is my own."
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"I think mine vibrates the loudest"- female co-worker talking about vibrate funtions on cell phones they were all sitting there setting them off to see who was loudest/moved the most
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"Keep your hands out of his drawers!" - to an employee that kept snagging pens from peoples desks.