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Turns out, if you call and harass Microsoft Customer Service enough, you can upgrade from Windows 7 32 bit to 64 bit for free. Yay!
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I feel your pain. We had an issue with our internet & cable service recently (only 3 days after it was hooked up!) and I was on the phone with tech support FOREVER. Dunno how many times I argued that I was not going to turn the box off and on again and yes I'd already tried that because I'm not a moron.
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Next time feel free to reach out to me. I can't promise anything, of course, but I could probably at least grease a few wheels or remove a few road blocks.
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I applaud you in get 64bit